I'll mail a copy of Termite Parade to the person who posts my favorite 5-word description of her/his releationship with their mother.
An example: Wondrous love scabbed with masochism.
Another: Floundering freedom for hypocrisy ticket.
And one "happy" riff just so nobody says I'm merely a glass-half-empty-sorta-guy: Your dad made me bald.
No rules, except c-bombs = disqualification... maybe. Although, sometimes c-bombs really work.
Mothers from Courtney Love to Michelle Obama want to know your answer!